Learning

I have this thing where I write to God during the day on my computer. OK, it’s not really a thing I do regularly; I just started yesterday and so far I’ve only written once.

I get mad every time I think about a certain person and I can’t seem to forgive him for what he did to me. I only just realized it’s been four months; I thought it had been longer. I guess it’s ambitious to think that I would get over 8 years of…whatever that was…in a shorter time. I don’t even know how long it will take me to get over this.

I am mad, I am hurt, I am bitter. I acknowledged the feelings. Now I’m working on turning them around to good feelings…or just getting rid of them altogether.

So this writing thing kinda keeps me from going insane. And if I’m writing to God I think it’s best coz He can handle my volatile and murderous emotions, unlike any human can. Plus, He understands, and that’s the best part. The even better part is He sees the time when I’m totally over this and leading a totally awesome existence with all the bad behind me.

I hate this part of life, the one that’s hard and complicated…but it’s all a learning process. I just wish learning didn’t have to be so hard.